After 2 months of trying to finish
Blue Like Jazz, I have. Today I realized why it was a best seller. It took me a long time to finish but in the final pages of the book. I saw the authors heart.
I went out to find a place to read today. I did not want to be stuck in my apartment. I ventured down town, and found a small park. It was quaint and quiet. It had a waterfall [man-made] with bubbles. I sat peacefully, drinking coffee. It seemed like the perfect place to read about Love. Not love as in romance but about others. Truly loving others. I was on Chapter 18,
Love: How to Really Love Other People.
It was while sitting in this park I realized. I had not been doing a very good job of this lately and I needed some perspective. Today I had seen people give their seats up on the bus, people on the streets canvassing for those without a voice, and a man stop to give another man change on the street. I
was am humbled.
I felt at peace in that park, sitting there reading. I. Felt. God. I felt Him remind me He was [always] there. In every moment. It had been a while since I had FELT God. Today I did.
As I got on the subway I finished the final chapters of the book. Chapter 19 is about Loving Yourself. Knowing that God loves us and that is enough. I have not done a very good job of this lately either. I have been selfish. Comparing myself. Cutting myself down. And not allowing God to love me or others. I hate compliments, I find them very awkward. Mostly because at times [not always] I do not believe them. I needed the reminder that Christ died for me and rose again. That I am loved.
Donald Miller describes when he saw what he was doing to himself.
"Love you neighbour as yourself... He was saying I would never talk to my neighbour the way I talked to myself, and somehow I had come to believe it was wrong to kick other people around but it was okay to do it to myself... I stopped hating myself. It no longer felt right" - Miller (Pg. 231, Blue Like Jazz).
"I think apart from the idea that I am a sinner and God forgives me, this is the greatest lesson I have ever learned. When you get it, it changes you" - Miller (Pg. 232, Blue Like Jazz).
The final chapter of this book was about Jesus.
"There is a lie floating around that says I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself. But there actually believe there is something bigger than me, and I need for there to be something bigger than me" - Donald Miller (Pg. 232, Blue Like Jazz).
"All great characters in stories are the ones who give their lives to something bigger than themselfs. And in all of the stories I don't find anyone more noble than Jesus... He didn't just love me because it was the right thing to do" - Miller (Pg. 238, Blue Like Jazz).
Miller talks about all the things he believes Jesus would say to him if he were to meet Him. He would listen, He would rebuke, He would love, and remind him all the ways God had protected him along the way.
Miller compares the Christian faith to Jazz music. A freedom that is hard to put on paper.
"But is no less real, no less meaningful, no less beautiful" - Miller (Pg. 239, Blue Like Jazz). I like the way he describes this. I spent the summer learning to Swing Dance. I learned that the type of Jazz music danced to is different. It has a certain beat. Something that must be felt. Today I felt God. Not for the first time. Not for the last time. But it was no less real today. No less real than the time before or the time after.
"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears attentive to their cry... The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all" (Psalm 34:15; 17-19).
Lastly I want to bring to your attention one of my best friends. Wendy. I talked about Wendy in the
blog I wrote yesterday. It was that evening that she called me. I missed her call. It was to tell me that her mother had passed away that evening. So I ask that you lift Wendy and her family up in prayer. I ask that you continue to seek ways of supporting her financially. But that more importantly you would remember her in an incredibly difficult time. Three weeks into an 11 months trip. My heart is broken for Wendy. An incredible women of God, a listener, and an incredible friend.
With a Heavy Heart,
-T.
PS. My apologies on the length.
