You Can Run, But You Cant Hide!

I have been reading Dog the Bounty Hunters autobiography! Sooo Good !!!

- T.

A Mistake...

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear that you will make one” - Ellen Hubbard

It’s so true that the fear of making a mistake is a mistake in itself. Over the past few months I have been really reflecting on fear. I have been realizing why I tend to be so indecisive, I am afraid to make a mistake. Whether it is something as small as being afraid to pick the ‘wrong’ movie, and be blamed for my poor choices, or something bigger like being afraid that I will let God down, and make a wrong choice while trying to follow Him. And that in the end I will just not be enough. Someone once said to me that sometimes God gives us many great opportunities and we just have to choose one. Fear can run our lives. I have spent so much time trying to avoid making the wrong choices that I have made a great mistake in not trusting in God that I am growing and becoming the women that He has created me to be and living in the grace He has provided through Jesus.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” – Isaiah 41:10

It is a constant journey each day, to learn to trust just a little more but each day a step forward is made. 

This is a picture of some friends at Bondi Beach in Australia. It was on this trip that I realized I did not have to be afraid, I stepped out and trusted God for one of the first times in my life. I have come a long way since that trip, but I am always reminded I still have much to go. 

- T. :) 

An Inspiration...

An Inspiration, what is an inspiration. F. Scott Fitzgerald said “Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over”. A few nights ago I was really feeling the attack of satan on my life, feeding lies me lies about who I am. As I was lying on the floor crying and praying that God’s voice would come through my graduation shoe (Chuck Taylor signed by people on my journey at Emmanuel) fell from a suitcase I was pushing under my bed, on it one person had written “you are inspiration”. I remembered times when some of the women at the prison had said this to me and others in my life. I started to cry even more at this point, wondering how I could be an inspiration, I felt like a mess. I kept saying to God why would they say this about me? If they only knew the pain I feel so often.

The night I was feeling this way was Good Friday. The day that we celebrate the death of Jesus; who was willing to take my sin, my fear, my burdens on the cross alone so I would never have to face life alone. He took it all, and rose again three days later, overcoming the grave so my burden could be lifted. I believe inspiration can come in many different ways. As I continue to follow Jesus and walk in His ways, I am inspired by those who do the same. Those who risk their lives to bring the Gospel to people, by those who bring Christ to those in their workplace, by those who choose to love when it would be easier to hate, by those who get up in the morning and face each day no matter the situation they are in; those who are truly living each day for Christ no matter the circumstance. Some days are challenging and getting out of bed even takes courage, and some days we feel like we can take on the world. Those who I am inspired by are those who challenge me, to do better, to love harder and care more. Inspiration is truly many different things too many different people, we all have the chance to be an inspiration to someone.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying. ‘I will try again tomorrow’” – Mary Anne Radmacher. 

This is a picture from the Graduation Banquet... An inspiration if I ever did see one! 

- T. 

For who you are...

“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, wether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the death and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.” – Romans 14: 7- 10. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about the expectations that we have for people. With all that has happened in the past little while with my parents to say the least I was stressed for the day of graduation. I hardly slept the night before a mix of excitement, fear and sadness I am quite sure. But as graduation day came to a close and the excitement, fear and sadness came to an end I reflected on the day. Overall the day went better than I expected but it was a mixture of emotions and I truly was able to reflect on how upset I really was with my parents. I love them so much and I hate to see them hurting. I really would give anything to see them get better, and for things to truly heal.

I have however instead of loving my parents for who they, been angry at them because they are not who I want them to be. And each time I am hurt it is because I want a relationship with my father that is just not able to be formed yet, and I want my mom to heal from everything that has happened, when it is not my place to choose this time. I need to continue to forgive them for the mistakes that they’ve made but I am not short of mistakes, and I have much to learn. I cannot say that I agree but I can say that I love them and want to work to accept them for who they are. And I pray they do the same. I have tried many things, and I know there will be many ups and downs, but I need to truly learn to be okay with who they are, and who I am. I am who I am in many ways because of them, I am here today a proud owner of a degree at twenty, a graduate. But so much more than that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, with a passionate love for God and the people that He loves so dearly; the lost, suffering and hurting. I have been told many times that I have a special gift to love people and see past what they have done and see them for who they are and who they can be, they are a child of God and they can receive His grace. But if I cannot do this even for my parents if I cannot extend this grace to them I am a hypocrite and so I am choosing to love because they are my family and because Christ Jesus gave His life so that I and my family may live. Sometimes it will be easier than others but I am convinced it is a better way to live.

- T.

The end...

"Cause it's not over till it's over every ending's a new beginning one more chance to get it right one more chance to get it wrong its not over till it's over sometime's nowhere leads to somewhere and it all starts again in the end and it's such a scary place to be everything is in between and I don't know where to go from here" - The End by Jason Reeves 


Today was the Day! This is the end of my year of blogging (although yes I will continue to blog, this is the end of this series). As of today, I am no longer Co-President, no longer a student at Emmanuel Bible College, I am no longer an Intern at Grand Valley Institute for Women, or admissions staff at Emmanuel. It was a lot at once. A long day but a great one, it was so wonderful to see so many people I love either there to support me, or up there graduating with me! It has been a truly rough year but a blessed one at that. In these bitter sweet moments I hope to cherish each one but I do know that it is time, and that I am ready to take this next step whatever that will be. I am not sure what lies ahead but I am trusting in the God who placed the earth in perfect motion and knows each star by name, and every single strand of hair on my head.


We had a potluck with my family, the Jewells and Dan Wallace's family. And ended the night with a few friends at a camp fire at Sara's place. Although the day was tough at points and I really cannot believe how quickly the past few years have gone by. As I look back on it all I know that God truly prepared the way for me, and I'm certain He has done this for my future. 


- T. 

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" - Isaiah 40:3

Graduation Banquet !

Well I believe the Grad Banquet was a success it was a stressful day but well worth it for the fun and laughter we all shared!

Matthew 19:16-30

"Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth" - Matthew 19: 21-22.

As I worked on the final paper for my Philosophy of Ministry Distance Ed. in it I worked through what I see myself doing in the future. I honestly do not have a direct path. I have always wanted to work with high risk individuals those struggling with drug or alcohol, those with HIV/AIDs, or those who are without a home. I believe that God saved me from a life of destruction and called me to use what was evil for good. He called me to use my story, to reach people that others may not. My heart aches for those in need.

Whenever I read Mother Teresa's quote "The true meaning of love is sacrifice", I am reminded of the rich ruler and I wonder what am I willing to give and I do hope it is everything. It is a challenging question though. So I ask what are you willing to give for those in need. Would you part from everything you own? Would you take less so you could give more? I hope I do, I always want to be giving more than I take. As I am two days away from graduation and heading towards the next step of my life I am confident in Christ and that He will direct my path. I plan to head to Toronto in September at the latest, and see what happens next!

Since I am now a confirmed graduate I will finally allow my pictures to be seen :)

Andrew Goodwin Photography

- T.

I'm Officially Done !!!

This is a picture of Christie H. one of my best friends as she was about to take her last exam my last exam as well !!! :)

Super Stressed was here super hero title!

- T.

Day`s like today...

Day`s like today remind me why I love Emmanuel... Thank you Peter Her for the reminder !

Also I got a Brita Water Filter Sooo Exciting :)

- T.

Will I ever...

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lately I've been noticing that I really struggle with finding hope with men, not because I do not think I'm young or have lots of time, I do and am, I am not in a hurry however I do struggle with the insecurity that I am not enough, and thoughts such as who would want to love me after all I've been through, 'who would want to stick it out with someone who has such deep wounds?', whether they're healed or not. Although I know this is not true it seems these thoughts creep into my mind all too often. They make me believe I am not worth the effort.

God's message is so clear though, He tells me that His love is enough, His grace covers it all. I am consistently reminding myself that I am enough, and that although what I have been through is tough, and brings hardships that others may not have, because of who I am I can give to someone what others cannot. I am a child of God and He has given me the resilience to make it through life events with joy and strength. It is not just about where I'm from, who I was or what has happened to me, but about who God has made me to be, and I love who I am, because Christ died for me, those I love and even those who have hurt me. His grace is enough.

As I have been contemplating this I have been as well contemplating what I want in a man, its not very complicated, not at all.

Someone who has a passion and love for Christ, and who will challenge me.
Someone who will be patient with me, but who will pursue with passion.
Someone who will not give up when things are tough, but give grace and love.
Someone who will let me be me, all aspects fun, silly, sad, upset, etc.
Someone who will ask me to dance, and will hug me when I need it most.

Now these are not all the things on my list but its a basic foundation. Relationships are hard, and I have made many mistakes, but I know that I am worth it and that whoever the man is he will be worth it as well.

I will leave you with an interesting Bob Marley quote!

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for" - Bob Marley

This was a photo taken by Jessie Golem, I really like it!

- T.

A bit of fun to start of April !

Here's a few pictures from the beginning of April !

 - T.

April Fools!

Here`s some photos from the Spring Banquet here at EBC, more to come, hopefully of the Ceili :)

- T.