“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, wether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the death and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.” – Romans 14: 7- 10.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the expectations that we have for people. With all that has happened in the past little while with my parents to say the least I was stressed for the day of graduation. I hardly slept the night before a mix of excitement, fear and sadness I am quite sure. But as graduation day came to a close and the excitement, fear and sadness came to an end I reflected on the day. Overall the day went better than I expected but it was a mixture of emotions and I truly was able to reflect on how upset I really was with my parents. I love them so much and I hate to see them hurting. I really would give anything to see them get better, and for things to truly heal.
I have however instead of loving my parents for who they, been angry at them because they are not who I want them to be. And each time I am hurt it is because I want a relationship with my father that is just not able to be formed yet, and I want my mom to heal from everything that has happened, when it is not my place to choose this time. I need to continue to forgive them for the mistakes that they’ve made but I am not short of mistakes, and I have much to learn. I cannot say that I agree but I can say that I love them and want to work to accept them for who they are. And I pray they do the same. I have tried many things, and I know there will be many ups and downs, but I need to truly learn to be okay with who they are, and who I am. I am who I am in many ways because of them, I am here today a proud owner of a degree at twenty, a graduate. But so much more than that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, with a passionate love for God and the people that He loves so dearly; the lost, suffering and hurting. I have been told many times that I have a special gift to love people and see past what they have done and see them for who they are and who they can be, they are a child of God and they can receive His grace. But if I cannot do this even for my parents if I cannot extend this grace to them I am a hypocrite and so I am choosing to love because they are my family and because Christ Jesus gave His life so that I and my family may live. Sometimes it will be easier than others but I am convinced it is a better way to live.
- T.
Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your honesty here and it's tough when it comes to family. I feel we hold them at a higher standard then everyone else and it's easy to let that standard or expectations get in the way.
ReplyDeleteIf you talked to me in highschool and told me that I'd have a meaningful relationship with my dad I would think you were crazy. Not that I didn't have a relationship with him but we've come a long way and it took grace and adjustments on both are parts.
Its also difficult with step parents as well but I just wanted to encourage you and let you know that you've challenged me to show more grace myself because I know I've needed it so much from them growing up and will continue to.