Lately I've been noticing that I really struggle with finding hope with men, not because I do not think I'm young or have lots of time, I do and am, I am not in a hurry however I do struggle with the insecurity that I am not enough, and thoughts such as who would want to love me after all I've been through, 'who would want to stick it out with someone who has such deep wounds?', whether they're healed or not. Although I know this is not true it seems these thoughts creep into my mind all too often. They make me believe I am not worth the effort.
God's message is so clear though, He tells me that His love is enough, His grace covers it all. I am consistently reminding myself that I am enough, and that although what I have been through is tough, and brings hardships that others may not have, because of who I am I can give to someone what others cannot. I am a child of God and He has given me the resilience to make it through life events with joy and strength. It is not just about where I'm from, who I was or what has happened to me, but about who God has made me to be, and I love who I am, because Christ died for me, those I love and even those who have hurt me. His grace is enough.
As I have been contemplating this I have been as well contemplating what I want in a man, its not very complicated, not at all.
Someone who has a passion and love for Christ, and who will challenge me.
Someone who will be patient with me, but who will pursue with passion.
Someone who will not give up when things are tough, but give grace and love.
Someone who will let me be me, all aspects fun, silly, sad, upset, etc.
Someone who will ask me to dance, and will hug me when I need it most.
Now these are not all the things on my list but its a basic foundation. Relationships are hard, and I have made many mistakes, but I know that I am worth it and that whoever the man is he will be worth it as well.
I will leave you with an interesting Bob Marley quote!
"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for" - Bob Marley
 |
| This was a photo taken by Jessie Golem, I really like it! |
I think about this, and struggle with it all the time. It's encouraging to hear another voice the same sorts of struggles. <3
ReplyDeleteTina, A bit of a morsel to chew on... something that has helped me a lot is not so much viewing God's grace and love as "covering" all- There is no hiding involved- it's about erasing shame, guilt, doubt, pain, horror, evil, pain and that general sick, cold feeling in the very pit of your stomach. He's made all things new- not that it didn't happen, or wasn't horrific, or doesn't still cause tremendous pain and insecurity, but he has made it new. he has fertilized, watered and tended the ashes of the pain, and grown beauty out of it. Now you just have to wait for the man with enough gall to put you in his lapel pocket- and keep you there!
ReplyDeleteI have a piece of art to show you...
all blessings, prayers and love,
Men struggle with it too... the whole damaged goods thing or that people don't deserve or would want to deal with my issues.. especially those I struggle to deal with myself.
ReplyDeleteOn a happy note: you had me with the Bob quote!
Thanks everyone for your comments.
ReplyDelete-T. :)